HEELS ON A ROLL

Went down to Jason and Sharon's house this past Friday to watch the Tarheels play ball. Ended up spending the night because after the victory we were all just to wasted. Got into the Moonshine and man the stuff will kick your ass. I laied low Saturday and Sunday and did not want to even smell beer or liquor. We had a good time as usual and Cinda had to stay at home because she was on call with her job. She must love that job because it demands alot of her time, but coming from a guy who hates waking up in the mornings, I had rather be in her shoes. We have two more games and hope we can pull it off. Got a free ticket to the 600 at Lowes this past week from a vendor of ours. Did not think I was going to get to go but when it is free it is for me. Going to have a Finial Four Party at Jasons this weekend, so here we go again. I am so glad that Jason is a alumni from UNC, because to see him have something to be that excited about is awesome. Sort of like Lady D and her Auburn Tigers. For those of us who did not go to school at one of those place it is just not the same as having vested interest in it.

We are still on 32 hour weeks at work and with all the time to go to Pawleys I dont have the $$$ to go. It is hitting me for about $1100 a month by not working on Fridays. Hope this turns around soon, but it is hell of alot better than unemployment.

Bad Personnel

I guess I can be negative on my post since no one reads it but me and Ashley, but what do you do with a person who has tried you so much and yet you can not control it. Let me give you an example.

I have a supervisor who has been here 20+ years. This person will live forever because God or the devil does not want him. He has been working for my President that who time and he knows how he is but the President of our company refuses to let me deal with the issue. There has been 4 HR managers before my time tell the Pres the same thing, "HE HAS TO GO". I have went with documentation after documentation to the Pres and all I get is, have a talk with him. He will get better for about a week then back to the same old shit. I have reached the point where I do not communicate with him unless I have to. When you try to have a conversation with him it is always negative. Have a meeting to try to improve something and he is always destructive. Everyone hates dealing with him and is wondering why I cant fire him, but they all know the President will not let me. I wake up every morning and thinking about coming in here facing him and his destruction just turns my stomach where I do not even want to eat breakfast.

Now tell me, I have to have a job, right now there is no where to go, I have to have my medical insurance, and I have spent hours on hours talking to God about this and yet it all stays the same. It aint worth me quitting my job and putting that stress on Cinda about the $$$$. What would you do to deal with this situation? I lift weights. spin, and race on the computer, but every morning I have to wake up and this is the first thing that runs through my brain !!!!!

Rain

All it did this weekend was rain rain rain and more rain. Guess this is good for the spring flowers but with the temps in the lower 40's it was not good for much of anything else. Usually back in my day I would go fishing on these days like this. Low pressure and no one on the lake made for some good times, but just dont have that killer instinct in me anymore like that. Came out for the best at home because I mopped, waxed, cleaned base boards, got cobwebs, dusted the ceiling fans, washed a load of clothes and cleaned the bathrooms. I also managed to drink 10 mini's of Jim Beam. Other than that I was at the house by myself while my (dont know whats happening) neighbors sit at home. One thing I like about Pawleys, always had the Street to go to on those bad days. There you could always get somekind of conversation reguardless of what kind it was still humans trying to communicate. All the people I know cant do anything because they are to busy being busy. Ever knew anyone like that? Cinda's dads birthday party was this weekend and Cinda and her mom threw him a surprise party at the Tally House. It was alot of good country eating but thats all. It was more like a Baptist convention instead of a party. He is a really good person and has always treated me very well even if I did rob his daughter at the age of 18. She just had to have me and she could not stand it LOL LOL. Now Im back at work on Monday bored out of my head but at least Im getting a paycheck with benefits.

Good Time

The weekend was a pretty good time. Went fishing Friday and caught a few largemouth then came home and cleaned up that dirty truck from the snow and ice we had this past week. Went to Jason and Sharon's house Sunday to watch the UNC - Dook game. That was alot of fun and all his friends are some really good kids. Shelley and Paul came also. I really like that dude, he is one of the best guys Shelley has ever dated. He is well grounded and keeps her little wild ass in line. I cant figure out for the life in me who's kid she is? Shelley is hard to read about her emotions and feelings because she is always smiling. Glad to have the situation where they want to share time with their mom and me with their friends.

? Thankfulness ?

Has anyone ever looked around and seen all the things you have to be so thankful for? Survived a heart attack, Jason's up coming marriage, Shelley's job and her making it on her own, still have a job, able to make our bills on time, and got a wife that loves my sorry ass, but with all this you still have one of those empty holes inside that you cant find the answer to. Ever feel like that and thus it robs you of all the other things that should be shining bright in your life? I have felt that way since I moved back to Mooresville area and cant seem to shake it. I said in time it will go away but it doesnt. Been 3 years now and with ever day it just digs deeper and deeper. I know you have heard me say this a 1000 times, but when I lived at Pawleys I was at peace with myself inside. Im told if you seek the answer form God it will be revealed to you, but it isnt. I hear if you seek Gods will then you will have a peace, but what is that will He has for my life? When Im smelling that salt air I am a peace about me that I cant explain. I dont feel lonely down there even if Im just walking on the beach with Killer. I hate to complain and bitch because there is alot of people out there who would love to have what I have and the security of a income, but that darn feeling will just not go away.