The Parents Influence

Anyone who reads this as a parent, please dont under estimate the influence you have over your childrens behavior for the rest of their life. When I was a kid of only 6 til I got to be 18 and moved out of the house I got told, what you want does not matter, that is stupid, you dont know anything, you just think your important, if it was not for you I would have done other things in my life but it is my responsibility to provide you a home. Now how would you like to have come up with those comments from parents who got married when they were 17 and 14. Never went to school and just worked in a factory until they retired? Not taking anything away from them, because they are my parents and I love them, but who was really the stupid ones in this situation? Now to this day at age 55, Im still stupid, What I wanted in life is not important, and a new one - you think your so smart just because you have been to College and your a Plant Manager. When I get around them I see how they turn negative and bitter. Somewhere down the road of life I have done something that they think I should not have done or I just dont show them appreciation like I should. Yes I rebelled against this type of treatment when I was coming up, who would not, but the way this influenced me has still profound affects today at age 55.

When I first got married I did not know how to show affection to Cinda because for 19 years I had put up the steel guard to protect myself and my feelings. When anyone who disagree with me, up went that wall and I would shut down. Now try being a newlywed and establishing a home with a wonderful wife and she gets that treatment. It would happen before I knew it and it took her love and years of it to help me through this, but I thank God for her.

At work I would bust my ass to try to please the management and as usual when they would disagree with me or show disappointment I would fly all to hell and take it personal. I had to work through that also.

My point is, please be careful what you say or do when you have those children. God gives us the promise that for everything bad that happens to us, He can take it and make something positive out of it if we let Him. This past month at my son's wedding he gave me a card and on this card it said, "if Im half as good a husband to Sharon as you were a dad to me then everything will be great in our life". When I read that card I just busted into tears and almost have now typing this blog. As a result of my raising I gave my children an opinion, I gave them the option to make mistakes and not call them stupid but stand behind them and help them. I did everything I could to spend time with them at ball games, camps, band concerts, cheerleading practice and what ever else they decide to do. I told them both to dream and follow those dreams. Who knows, you might be the next famous person but you would never know if you dont give it shot. At the same time I had rules and guidelines and they followed those also.

Just love your kids and even when they are 55 still love and support them and never make them feel like they owe it you. That card was all the payment I needed for all those year and pleasure my children have given me. They are truely a blessing.